Merry Christmas

Do you still hesitate?
Did you think twice this Christmas?
Do you wish your family understood?
Rejoice this Christmas that you do!

Are you feeling like you can't move forward?
You can't if you're always looking backwards!

When someone wishes you a Merry Christmas, do you say it back, or do you still say "Thank you", or simply nod your head look away, and move on?

Do you still try to make up for Christmas's lost?  Like a child who is trying desperately to fill a void, to make up for, to compensate for something, something lost.  Are you like a little child waiting for someone to just hear you, to just see you, to just understand. 

Is Christmas costing you to much financially and you joke,
"Maybe this year I should be a Jehovah's Witness!" LOL

Do you still find it hard to step into a church, but you really want to hear the TRUE Christmas Story?
Go and Step in!

Do you find yourself saying "I believe!"
But only in the magic of Santa, Reindeer, and cookies?

Do you want to Believe?
Does the name Jesus still stump you?
Does the name Jehovah make you want to run?
He came in the most humble of ways born in manager.
He is Jesus, He is Jehovah, He is I AM!


Don't you just love it when it snows on Christmas...

Don't you just love to see your kids and grand-kids
opening Christmas presents...

Don't you just love Christmas candy...

Don't you just love that you can celebrate Christmas this year!
I love that you can too!


The Candy Cane

I have bought candy canes for the past 19 years.

It was about 6 years ago my children received a little note along with their candy cane.

Although I don't have the original, you can find the story just about anywhere.

I have never looked at The Candy Cane the same way since then.

The History of the Candy Cane as told to children...

It had to be special to be a gift for the
King of Kings, thought the humble candy
maker from Indiana. Not just any piece of
candy would do. It had to be hard candy
because the church is built on solid rock
and God's promises are a firm foundation.
It would be formed in the shape of the
Good Shepherd's staff. A "J" that would
also stand for the precious name of Jesus.
But it had to say more. White stripes
would symbolize the virgin birth and
sinless nature of Christ. Three small red
stripes would represent the scourging Jesus
suffered on His way to the cross. One large
red stripe would remind those with eyes to
see and ears to hear of the blood Jesus shed
as payment for our sins. It would be a
gift of love that would tell His story -
the greatest story ever told. 



The True Story

A candy maker in Indiana wanted to make a candy that would be a witness,
so he made the Christmas Candy Cane.
He incorporated several symbols
for the birth, ministry, and death of Jesus Christ. 
He began with a stick of
pure white, hard candy: white to symbolize the Virgin Birth and the sinless
nature of Jesus, and hard to symbolize the Solid Rock, the Foundation of the
Church and firmness of the promises of God. 

The candy maker made the candy in the form of a "J" to represent the precious name of Jesus, who came to earth as our Savior.
It could also represent the staff of the Good Shepherd with which He reaches down into the ditches of the world to lift out the fallen lambs who like all sheep have gone astray.

Thinking that the candy was somewhat plain, the candy maker stained it with red stripes.
He used three small stripes for the blood shed by Christ on the cross. 
So that we could have the promise of eternal life.

Unfortunately, the candy became known as the Candy Cane.
It became a meaningless decoration seen at Christmas time.
But meaning is still there for all those who "Have eyes to see and ears to hear." 
We pray that this symbol will again be used to witness to the wonder of Jesus and His great love that came down at Christmas.

Hard Candy - Reminds us that Jesus is like a "ROCK", strong and dependable
Psalm 31:3

Peppermint Flavor - Is like the gift of spices from the wise men
Matthew 2:11

White Candy - Stands for Jesus as the holy, sinless Son of God
1 John 1:7

Cane - Is like a staff used by shepherds in caring for sheep. Jesus is our "Good Shepherd".
John 10: 1-18, 27-30

The Letter J. - Is for the name of Jesus, our Savior.
Matthew 1: 21

The Color Red - Is for God's love that sent Jesus, and for Jesus' love in giving His life for us on the cross.
John 3: 16 and Revelation 1:5

The Stripes - Reminds us of Jesus' suffering - His crown of thorns,
the wounds in His hands and feet, and the cross on which He died.
John 19: 1-30

Instead of looking at things as black and white...
how about looking at things as red and white...



There are many things I would like for you this Christmas season.
One of those things is;
for you to sit and think,
be still and ponder,
process the vast wonder of
Immanuel-God With Us.

 ...If you do not stand firm in your faith,
   you will not stand at all.’ Vs. 9
“Ask the LORD your God for a sign, Vs. 11
...a sign: The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel. Vs. 14
Isaiah 7- NIV

Old Testament
Always matches up with
New Testament

His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be pregnant through the Holy Spirit. Vs. 18
"She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.”
Vs. 21
All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet:“The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel” (which means “God with us”).
Vs. 22,23
Matthew 1-NIV

As a former Jehovah's Witness I would say time and time again;
"Sure I believe Jesus, sure he walked this earth, I believe in Jesus, I pray in His name."
I thought I had it all figured out. I believed I had it all down and even "right."
To the extreme and believing like the breaths I take daily, preaching daily door to door saying;
"He Jesus is a created being, and yes I believe in his virgin birth, but he is not God."
I would say to you, "Well, yes we are in agreement, when it comes to Jesus."

We are NOT in agreement!
I am no longer in agreement with those statements!

We need to agree with Jesus!
We need to believe who He is, and who He says He is.

The Incarnation of Christ.
Unless you fully believe and accept that He Jesus is God.
The Incarnation of God becoming man by the virgin birth.
God became man and dwelled with us-God With Us-Immanuel.
That I will be in agreement with you on.

Incarnation is one of the most important teachings and beliefs of Christianity.
Incarnation represents the belief that Jesus, who is the non-created second person of the triune God took on a human body and nature and became both man and God.
Immanuel-God With Us.

I didn't say this He did.
The best teaching on this is John 1:14
The Word became human and lived among us. We saw his glory. It was the glory that the Father shares with his only Son, a glory full of kindness and truth.  GWT

He was truly man and truly God and he dwelt with us.

I know as a former Jehovah's Witness myself,
I questioned, I battled, I fought, I argued, I cried over,  every bit of this truth.
I gave every rote (learned, memorized) answer I knew to give, to come against,
Who Jesus was.  Who Jesus is.
Immanuel-God With Us.

I challenge you;
Dear friends, do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world. 1 John 4:1 NLT

He Was, He Is, and He Is to Come!
He is Immanuel.

We proclaim to you the one who existed from the beginning, whom we have heard and seen. We saw him with our own eyes and touched him with our own hands. He is the Word of life.
1 John 1:1 NLT
He is Immanuel-God with us.

I take Him at his word today and every day ahead of me.  This is my faith.  I took my mustard seed of faith and planted it with Him for eternity.
This Christmas and every Christmas prior to this one,
and everyday He is Immanuel-God With Us.

Merry Christmas from my family to yours.

What if Christmas Looked Different this Year?

My 1st Christmas. Christmas 2004.
Sure I celebrated Christmas from the age 18 to 30. 12 years.
But at age 30, it was a whole new ball game.
See it was the summer of 2004 that I found Christ.
So in 2004 CHRIST was in my CHRISTmas!
Christmas looked different for me that year, and has every year since.

I ask you the question this Christmas...

What if Christmas Looked Different For You This Year?

Will it really be different if I ask Christ in to my Christmas this year?
Yes, Really!
Will I really feel different if I ask Christ in to my Christmas this year?
Yes, Really!
Will things really begin to change for me if I ask Christ in to my Christmas this year?
Yes, Really!

Will this be the year you BELIEVE?
Will this be the year you accept the gift, He wants to give you this year?

What gift?
The gift of life.  The gift of forgiveness for ALL your sins.
The gift of salvation. The gift of eternity.
The gift of truth. The gift of love.
The gift of acceptance.  The gift of comfort.
The gift of peace.  The gift of hope, a living hope.
The gift of Him.

Let this Christmas be the Christmas you put Christ in your CHRISTmas.
Let this be the year 2011 that you put Christ in your life from this day forward and FOREVER!

If you are ready, and you want the time to be now, and you want to accept and receive His gift.

Please pray this prayer.

Dear Jesus,
Today is the day, I come to you and ask you to forgive me for all my sins. I want to be better and do better.
I want you to come in and be apart of my life, be my life.  I ask you to take over.
I've tried but I can't do it anymore, I need you, a Savior to save me, from this pit I've been in way to long.
Lord, please reveal truth to me.  See, I thought I was in "the truth", but now I'm confused and I have been for so long.  I have believed so many wrong things far to long.   Please, please show me The Truth your Truth! I need your help to sort through all of this.  I'm afraid, please protect me. Please save me.
Today I accept and proclaim you as LORD, over all the earth and LORD over my life.
I believe you God that you came by way of a virgin birth and that you died and rose for my sins.
I believe that you are alive, and in heaven waiting to return someday.
Please Lord, I accept your gift, your precious gift of life.
Thank you for dying on the cross for me.
I love you Lord. In Jesus name I pray, Amen! 


If this is the first time you prayed this prayer, please let me know.
I would like to get in contact with you and pray with you.
Please click on the Mail tab and send me a message and I will be sure to get in contact with you.


As we began to pray over our Thanksgiving dinner
I peeked up and noticed the table we were gathered around.
A circle.
I peeked again and smiled at all the little hands holding each other.
A circle of hands.
As we had conversations, we were all able to see one another because we were all facing each other.
In a circle.
A place of gathering a place of coming together to unite.
Uniting in Thanks, Uniting in unity, Uniting as one family.
It's at this moment I am reminded once again, that God has brought me Full Circle.

This Thanksgiving may have been your first time celebrating.
This Thanksgiving may be a bitter time for you.
This Thanksgiving may be one of wishing you could be with your family, the one you left behind.
This Thanksgiving may be the first one you fully enjoyed away from the old thoughts, the old beliefs.
This Thanksgiving may be the one your hoping,... that next years Thanksgiving you'll be able to cope better than this years.
This Thanksgiving may be the one you feel regret, and question why did I leave?
This Thanksgiving may be pure joy for you!
This Thanksgiving may be the one you recognize and see that God has taken you Full Circle.

To many years of not having Thanksgiving.
To many years of not having family gatherings around a table.

I am there with you. I have been at, and have felt everyone of those emotions.

You are in the right place right now, don't doubt it for today or in the days to come.
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
Philippians 4:6 NLT

God has surrounded me and given me a circle of friends and family larger than I could of ever imagined! He has provided me through this circle;  love, comfort, strength, encouragement, a place of belonging, direction, acceptance, and pure joy!

There is a place for you in this circle.

Then he (Jesus) looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, "Here are my mother and my brothers!  Whoever does God's will is my brother and sister and mother."Mark 3:34-35 NIV

This Thanksgiving I was and am thankful for you.

Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God.
Praying that you will recognize when God has brought you Full Circle.

Consuming Emotions

Are you lonely?
I am with you each and every day... Matthew 28:20 ISV

Are you afraid?
"I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid."  John 14:27 NLT

Are you anxious or worried?
Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:10 NIV

Are you angry, seeking revenge?
"I will take revenge; I will pay them back," says the LORD. 
Romans 12:19 NLT

Are you still being judged?
I will judge each of you according to your own ways, declares the Sovereign LORD. Ezekiel 18:30 NIV

Has your family failed you?
He will not fail you nor forsake you until all the work for the service of the house of the LORD is finished. 1 Chronicles 28:20 NASB

Are you feeling weak and defeated?
The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.
Exodus 14:14NIV

Our emotions and feellings are merely that.  They are neither right nor wrong.
However, how we act upon our feelings is where the trouble lies.

What is stealing your hope, your joy, your sleep, your life?
What is consuming you, controlling you?
Cast it ALL every bit of it on the Lord!

Be honest maybe for the first time in your life.  Tell him what trips you up every single time.
Tell him your worries, your struggles.
He's waiting............................................Just for you.

Who Plays Down the Veracity of God?

Definition of ve·rac·i·ty:
Habitual truthfulness: "his veracity and character". Devotion to the truth - Accuracy.
-Webster Dictionary-

In my findings.....Jehovah's Witnesses play down the veracity of God.

You may be thinking/saying like my daughter did: "Wow that's pretty BOLD, pretty out there, in your face, Mom!"
I guess if you are on the side of the Jehovah's Witness.
If you are a Believer, a Christian, a Born Again Christian, you may be on the side of Christianity.

This is about TRUTH!  This is  about the FACTS!
This is  about the EVIDENCE!

Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. 11 Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. John 14:10,11 NIV
There does come a point in time where you have to choose! 
There is a time where you do have to get off the fence!
There will come a time, a place in your life, and you make a choice, which way will I go? Whom shall I choose? What am I going to believe? Who am I going to believe in?
Really the black and white of it is, no wait let me re-word that.
Truth be told, it's more about the Black, White and RED of It!
Red-His blood shed for me the sinner.

I know your out there...
Afraid, confused, scared, alone, ashamed, judged, so extremely fearful, angry, bitter.
Thinking:"Frankly I really don't care, I really don't care anymore that was so long ago." But I know you have that heavy cloud over your shoulder.

You might be a child of a parent who was a Jehovah's Witness and say, "Well I'm not really affected by it, my parent/parents were out of it before it had an impact on my life."
You might be the child of a parent who is still very active as a Jehovah's Witness.  You grieve the loss of your mom, or dad, or siblings.  You long to have relationship with them, but know that you absolutely can't, not under your current way of living.
You might be the parent, condemning yourself for the choices you made for your family while you were a Jehovah's Witness.

I was YOU! I am YOU!  I have felt every bit of those emotions and many more.
But because of Jesus' blood I can type out these black and white facts and know they are covered in Christ precious blood. I am hear to tell you.
My complete devotion is to the Veracity of God!
I am not hear to debate, or defend.
The Lord defends:
For the Lord your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien...   Deuteronomy 10:17,18 NIV

So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News. Philippians 1:7 NLT

We all have a new hope offered to us, if you would so choose to receive it, accept it, believe it.

Here in this little blog world; you will find truth from His word.  Not altered or manipulated  in any way.  I challenge you, seek it out for yourself.  My devotion is first and foremost to Christ, and then my devotion is to you, the reader to show you Truth from Lies. Beauty from Ashes.

I will not Play Down the Veracity of God!
I will speak Truth in Love.


Amazing how time flies! Summer has come and gone.
Settling into fall, and I am settling back in front of the computer anxious to blog about whatever it is that God lays on my heart.
I went to church this morning and a message was given by
Dr. David Bruenning. What an amazing man of God.
To do what he does for the Lord, WOW! Thank you Lord for Dr. David Bruenning!  ICFAID.ORG

Dr. Bruenning shared 1 John chapter 5 in his message today.
My ears perked and my spirit quickened as he entered into verse 10.
 10 He who believes in the Son of God has the witness in himself;... 1 John 5:10 NKJV

Dr. Bruenning said;
"This is the witness....The witness is Him."  Jesus

O.k. so here I go...Stick with me here on this bunny trail, this is just how my brain works, and how I break things apart, but mostly how God reveals His truth to me. Trust me we will come full circle.
{}-indicates me thinking

{Witness, I use to be a witness, a Jehovah's Witness.}

I came home and read 1 John 5.
I came to verses 6-9.
 6 This is the one who came by water and blood—Jesus Christ. He did not come by water only, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who testifies, because the Spirit is the truth. 7 For there are three that testify: 8 the Spirit, the water and the blood; and the three are in agreement. 9 We accept human testimony, but God’s testimony is greater because it is the testimony of God, which he has given about his Son.

{Trinity?} {Witness?}
                          I accepted human testimony. Vs 9a
                          I wanted God's Testimony. Vs 9b

Now, once again and even still,  seven years into  my journey the enemy started to creep into my mind and turn my wheels. I approached the Lord asking him to reveal truth to me once again.

verses 14,15. 
14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

{Trinity?} {Witness?}

{As a Jehovah's Witness:}
"How will I learn to contest, deny this "Trinity" to all others? The word Trinity is not in the bible. All others who are not a Jehovah's Witness, how will I explain the Trinity away, deny it, overturn it, all together omit it from my everyday talk, how will I start to  deter you from the truth?"
This is where my mind went.

In their book Reasoning from the Scriptures you will see 11 pages front and back devoted to the  topic of the trinity, the most pages dedicated to any given topic in this book.

 {Trinity?} {Witness?}

Webster Dictionary-Tri-meaning 3
Unity-meaning the quality or state of not being multiple : oneness

The Father, The Son, The Spirit-Unite as ONE.

{As a Jehovah's Witness I said; "I believed in Christ."}

Webster Dictionary In- having limitations. 

We as humans limit Him.  Christ has no limits.
He is the Alpha and Omega.  Revelation 22:13 NIV

{As a Jehovah's Witness I said; "Sure he is the Son of God, a created being, a man, one who did not exist before time began. He came but we won't see him again. Oh, and your trinity is nothing but dogma (an opinion), not a truth in scripture."}

I disagree, because I am able to find scripture after scripture showing the truth, the deity, the authority of who He is, the proof of who He is.
Some things in life are more complex than others.  Some things are plain and simple.
Truth be told He does reveal according to His will.
It is His will for you to know who He is.

{If I am a Jehovah's Witness how can I truly be a witness if I am denying who the witness is?}

{How can I be a witness for Christ if I am not for Him?}
Simple-I can't be 

Webster Dictionary
- For-constituting Him.

{How can I go and do and be apart of Matthew 24:14 for Matthew 24:14?}
14 And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.

I can't
If I don't have Christ?
1 John 5:12 Whoever has the Son has life; whoever does not have the Son of God does not have life.

{I want to be a witness, How can I be a witness?}

1 John 5:10  He who believes in the Son of God has the witness in himself;...

If we will begin to take the bible literally and not man...
If we would stop ignoring truth that is revealed in simple black and white and covered in red you will see what He God says about Himself. 
I choose not to remain in doubt, in wonder, or in question.  I am not ignorant.  Nor will I continue to be treated as such, or let my mind taunt me with the idea.
I will stand firmly and my knee will bow humby and I will confess that Jesus is Lord! 
I have the Witness in me. I believe in God breathed words! The Bible as a whole.

As a Jehovah's Witness I accepted the testimony of man.
As a believer I have the testimony of God.
As a Jehovah's Witness I went to man.
As a believer I approach God.
As a Jehovah's Witness I did not have life.
As a believer I have life in the Son.
As a Jehovah's Witness I went door to door to witness.
As a believer I am a witness because I have the witness in me, Christ.
As a Jehovah's Witness I denied the Trinity.
As a believer I believe the three are in agreement and unite as One.

So enemy you can go now! Flee!

What does it mean to be Born Again

"Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God." John 3:3

"...see the kingdom of God." John 3:3

I began to think...
See the Kingdom of God....Where is God's Kingdom? Where does He dwell?
Why, Heaven of course.
Well, I want to see this kingdom. What do I have to do to see it?

"Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again..... John 3:3

What does it really mean to be a Christian?

After all Jehovah's Witnesses claim to be Christians. I remember being taught to say that Jehovah's Witnesses are the only true Christians, and Born Again, well
"that was for those in bible times, not for us today!"

What I was taught to say.  It was rote every time.  I had it all figured out...I had all the answers.

Until now!

First things First you can identify people by their actions. Not everyone who calls out to me, 'Lord! Lord!' will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter.
On judgment day many will say to me, 'Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name. 'But I will reply, 'I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God's laws.'Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise...
Matthew 7:20-24 NLT

One of many teachings in the bible is to be Born Again.

I was blessed to receive a copy of a devotional from one of my associate Pastor's.  It explains what I could never eloquently say with all the tongue tying I get, when I'm excited about telling some one something that I am passionate about.  So I pass it along to you...
for clarity-hope-a new beginning-a new life-in Christ.

Blackaby Devotional-July 21

"Entering a saving relationship with Christ is a life-changing experience!  All things become new!
Not Some things, but all things (2 Cor. 5:17)
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
For the first time in your life, Christ is Lord; God is Master.
When you become a Christian, Christ's presence will affect every part of you.
You will have new thoughts, new attitudes, new values, and new sensitivities.
New priorities will dramatically affect your relationships.
You will view everything in your life from a Christlike Perspective.
Christianity is not something you add to you life, it is life!

Nicodemus thought that salvation meant performing certain religious exercises and holding to particular religious teachings.        (Does this ring a bell to any of you?)
He had no idea of the all-encompassing nature of salvation!
When you become a Christian, God gives you a new heart so that everything becomes new!
God gives you a new mind, like that of Christ, so you think differently.
He gives you new emotions, so you feel deeply about completely different matters.
You become sensitive to sin, so you are no longer comfortable with it.
Your recreation will be affected as you are made aware of what is honoring to God and what is not.
Your relationships will now be guided by the Holy Spirit.
Destructive habits and attitudes, previously immune to change, will be transformed.
Have you noticed the changes God has brought to your life since you entered a vital relationship with Jesus Christ?
These changes should be very noticeable as a testimony of the new life you received when you trusted Jesus as your Savior and Lord."

CHRISTianity is not about Sunday Morning-Sunday Morning is a BONUS!

For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ.
It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes...
Romans 1:16 NLT


Be Born Again

I waved the white flag,  I raised my hands.
As I looked up, gave it up, I dropped to my knees.
The Universal look.  The Universal cry.

Take my life, and make it yours. Make my life new.
I give it to you now and forever more.
Please forgive me for all my sins and all my sinful ways.
Lord please come, and be my LORD, my Saviour!
I live my life for you! I Surrender ALL!

Marvel Not-Do Not Be Astonished-Wonder Not-Don't Be Surprised              John 3:7
Jesus said, You must
Jesus said, It is necessary
Jesus said, All of you must
Be Born Again
Why? because otherwise-
You cannot see the kingdom of God                                                                       John 3:3
How can this be?-How is it possible?-How can that be?                                  John 3:9
Jesus said, I tell you truth
Jesus replied, I assure you
Jesus answered, Truly, truly, I say to you
no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit.       John 3:5
Humans can reproduce only human life, but the Holy Spirit gives birth to spiritual life.                                                                                                                                                              John 3:6
O.K. then what?
Then everyone who believes in Him will have eternal life.                          John 3:15

I want to have eternal life with you Lord, please I want to be born again.
But my lifestyle, the way I do things, will it change in an instant, will I change over night?
I want to do things your way. I've changed some things. I'm more sensitive and aware to some things, but what about my....? Why do I do....? See I wasn't ready!
See all this stuff God I have to work on...

But I tell you, I did not come to condemn the world-I did not come to judge you.
I came so that the world, so that you, might be saved through Me. That's why I died on the cross. For you. I did it ALL  for you.                                                                                     John 3:16,17
This book, the bible, this is written for you.
That you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.                                                                                                                John 20:31

So now I am born again.
I am a born again believer in Christ.
My hope is in Him.
I am a Christian.

Don't Waste Another Second

I'm back...
Not better, not more put together, not even worthy.
I've been searching, when I thought I would be fixing.
Fixing me.
They offered it to me for a time. Strong arms, a place to lay my head.
Safety? Security? Is this what it's suppose to be like?
The bottom of a bottle. I found a calm, a peace. Temporary, yes. But found. The moment.

Only to awake yet another day-to my chaos, my demise, my life.

I hunger for it, I've been searching forever for it. What is it...?

I know. I won't care. I will be bitter, you don't even have a clue.
I will hate, I know hate.  I will judge, it's so easy to do.
Judgment hiding behind every corner, creeping over my every breathe,
jumping out at every step.
I know screaming matches. I know a house that lived "unequally yoked."
Feeling alone and undiscovered, at every door  knocked on, and
every friendship I could of made.

I have looked every which way.  To the left-To the right-To the front-Even behind.
Where am I going wrong?  Chaos created for me. The only steps I know to take.
The regret-The turmoil-The disappointment-The torment-The tears-The hurt.
Spiraling Down! Life a trap! The lot I've been given!

I can't hold this up anymore! It's so heavy. Death-Come! Come NOW and take me away!

"FORGIVEN!"  "If you can't take it anymore-Come! Come-bring it to Him-Jesus! 
Drop it at His feet. Come now-don't wait-don't hesitate. Come NOW!" 

"I can't go!  What will they think?  What will they say?  Everyone looking at me!
Seeing me!  Seeing my sin, seeing me, seeing right through , piercing my soul!
I can't, I can't!  I was suppose to be ready this time."
"O.k. if the pastor asks one more time, I'll go for sure.  He won't say it again. I hope he doesn't ask again.  I'm feeling something, like I should go, but I can't, I won't!  God if your real, if your there, Please hear this one, Don't have him say COME again!"

"Come! If you hesitated-Come.  Another chance! Come.  This isn't about me, it's not about those around you, this is about you and God, this is between you and Jesus!  Come!
Give your life to Him! Let Him take over!  Give it to Him-Give it all to Him!

Hmm! An Unanswered Prayer!

I wanted better.  I wanted to be better.  I wanted more out of life.  I wanted more for my life.  I wanted more in my life. I want more for my kids, my family, my marriage.  I have a responsibility to my kids, to my family.  Oh, what do I do.....?  What do I have to lose? 

One direction I never looked. Up!-Please don't let me down!

A flood rushed over me-
I felt safe-I felt love-I felt a new peace, a real peace-I felt calm- I felt forgiven...
I was forgiven- I am forgiven-I knew and believed I was indeed forgiven!
and I haven't looked back since!!!


Psst, and thank you Jesus,  for that unanswered prayer!


who's to say what is good for MY life and what isn't?
choices. yes I make them, and yes I know there are consequences.
MY life! MY standards!
this is what makes ME happy. what makes ME thrive.
what makes ME comfortable! it's MY life! this is who I am!
I live a good life, it doesn't matter what she thinks,or what he says! I know in MY heart I'M good!
I always want to be good, and do good. god looks at the heart, anyway. right? god sees mine. god knows I have the best of intents. anyway god will judge. so what there all saying about me it doesn't matter really, in the end.

"So what your telling me is that you believe there is and end?"

well, ya!.............oh...,oh....?
isn't this all there is in life?  if I do good and be good, that's all that matters. I'll go to heaven.
I like who I am. I'M doing better now than the choices I use to make.  I'M settled down, I'M raising my family.  I'M not hurting anyone. I give when I can. I love those closest to me. I invest time into those I care about. I go to work, come home, none of that is wrong. what do I have to change?  if you don't like it oh-well. I was born this way. this is what I think! this is what I feel! your asking me to change everything I'M about?

but i do worry.  i do wonder about "in the end."

again anyway I'M good. I really am.  MY heart wants to do good. I want to be good.  isn't that enough?

but I wonder...what if I have it all wrong? am i going to heaven?  where is my dad?
what do i want people to know i stood for? what will be said in remembrance of me at my funeral? "the end."where will i go? where will i be?  what's going to happen to me!
you don't really see everything do you?"
"Me coming to this earth was no accident. The second their lips hit that apple, and those teeth bit in. Sin entered in. There was only
ONE WAY to take it away. I knew how I would redeem everything, everyone. you."
how? a plan? for me? really?
"While on the cross, one cried out-and he is with ME in paradise."
i want that. to be where i'm suppose to be. where i fit. where i belong.
paradise? heaven? what about paradise earth? I'm confused? everlasting life?  eternity?
you and me together?

what do I have to do? what is required of ME? what do I have to give up? I don't know. I'm not sure. 


"I gave my life for you, no one else has ever done that for you."
"I would do it all over again, even if it was just for you, and nobody else."
you want me? you will take me? you want to be with me?
wait... until I'm better, wait.. till I start to do better, once I get it all together, I'll be back I have to go----I need to go get ready, start being a better person.

Psalm 139:13-17, 23-24 parts taken from the NIV and NLT.  This prayer/cry is from King David.  
This was one of my many prayers/conversation with/ to God before I began to walk with Him. 
(All Emphasis is mine and personalized.)

Cross-Stake-or Tree ?

7 years ago a family member approached me.
Our topic of discussion Easter.
I was asked.
How can you go along with all those pagans and pagan things?

I said.
Take away the Easter Bunny, the pastel eggs, the baby chicks, and the jelly beans.
Put away your Sunday best, and Easter bonnets and what do we have?

A time to remember what Jesus did for me and for you.
He died for you. Right?  He died for me. Right?
If it wasn't for Him, we wouldn't even be here.
Does it really matter if it was a cross, a stake, or a tree?
Shouldn't we be thankful and celebrating what He did for us?

Jesus made the tree, that was cut down to make the stake, that was plummeted into the earth He formed.
His arms were bound to the cross (cross beam) that held him for hours as he suffered.
He offers the same forgiveness to those at the Last Supper, as He offered to the one man who was hanging next to Him on the cross, that He offers to you, and to me, and to all the people in the world that will come and ask for it, and then receive it.
His Forgiveness is the same for all of us.
He knew His time had come. Luke 22:15...before I suffer.
He specifically came for this moment in time.
The bread was broken into pieces, like the bones in His body.
The wine was poured out, like His blood.

Cross-Stake-or Tree ?
From Dake's Bible Matthew 26:2 noted (my emphasis added)
Gr. stauroo, (for the word crucified)to impale on a cross. Used 44 times in the N.T.The Greeks and Romans borrowed this from of punishment from the Phoenicians and continued it for the worst criminals and slaves until Constantine in the 4th century.
Bible Knowledge Commentary: "When the Roman Empire crucified a criminal or captive, the victim was often forced to carry his cross part of the way to the crucifixion site, carrying his cross through the heart of the city."

So while Jesus was here on earth, when one was crucified, one was hung on a cross.

Jesus spoke to us about taking up our cross:
Matthew 10:38...take up their cross...
Mark 8:34“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.
Luke 9:23...take up their cross daily and follow me.

What question was presented to me next?
Yes you probably already know.
Well the 3 points at the top of this cross, the one to the right, the one to the left and the one in the middle, they represent the trinity, don't even tell me you fell for that belief to?

The answer to that my precious former Jehovah Witnesses is for another blog.

The Memorial Service

Why am I continually invited each year, even though I've been gone for so long? 
Am I being invited to come and hear about Jesus? 
You will hear a message about Jesus but a false Jesus.
A Jesus you have to deny.

Ultimately the hope is...
That I will reconsider.  
The I will return to Jehovah.  
That I will come back to the Organization.
 My family is hoping that I will see friends and other family members in attendance and long to return to the people and things I once had in my life.

It has been many many years since I sat through a memorial service.
That last memorial service...I remember sitting through that service and my mind once again became confused and foggy. 
My heart began to twist and my stomach began to turn.
I did... honestly... question why did I leave?
Should I return?
 Do I really have it all wrong?
Angry at myself for even contemplating these questions in my head.

The glares, the half smiles, the hidden half waves from family members. 
It was nothing but torture!
And before I could control it the deep sadness rumbling and rolling up out of my gut forming there way into the uncontrollable "Ugly Cry."
It was pure torture!

Before I knew it the basket of crackers and the ornate crystal glass of wine was now coming down my isle and all of the sudden I am 9 years old and all I could think about
was don't drop it, don't spill it, don't partake in it!

So many years had passed and there were still the soft whispers to see if "the one sister" was going to partake, because she was one of the 144,000.
How did she know?  Did God speak to her?  
She was in a place of honor, respect, reverence, she was chosen by God.

Wow! How do I get that?  Can I ever achieve that?  Would I ever qualify?

They were already selected and I was not one of them.

How did you know if you were one?
You just knew and if you questioned if you were
you were more than likely not one.

I was not chosen. I was not part of the "little flock."
I knew that the bread and wine were only for those that Jesus broke the bread with and those He drank the wine with, and the 144,000.  
It was not for anyone else.

The memorial service was one event that I always walked away from with so many questions.
But I would dare not ask a single one.

I wondered why Jesus would break His body for them and why not me?
I wondered why Jesus would pour out his blood for them and why not me?

I wondered why God would create all of us to only choose and pick a small number 144,000 to be with Him?

Always asking, always wondering...
Why wasn't I picked?

Seriously, is there anything I can do to be picked?

The answer is yes.

"He chose me in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.
In love he predestined me for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will. In him I have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins."

There is a way. 
I exercised my free will and chose Jesus Christ for my life.
I called on the name of Jesus and I was saved.

Jesus broke his body for you and me.  Jesus shed his precious blood for you and me.
He asked all of us who would believe in Him to do this in remembrance of Him. 
His covenant is for all humans who would so choose to believe in Him. 

He did it all for me!  He did it all for you! He was broken and bled for you and me!

Thank you Lord Jesus for allowing me to be with You for all eternity.
Thank you Lord Jesus for picking me.
Thank you Lord Jesus for coming down from heaven for me.
Thank you Lord Jesus for redeeming my life through your shed blood.
Thank you Lord Jesus for forgiving me of my sins.
Thank you Lord Jesus for loving me enough to die for me.

I will "do this in remembrance of You."

Ephesians 1:4-7, Romans 10:13, John 3:16-17, 
Luke 22:19-20, John 6:35-58, 1 Corinthians 11:23-26, 
Revelation 7

He Hears Your Cries

Drive a stake in it.  Put an end to it.
It's time, you've suffered long enough.
Sometimes in life your called to do things you know you need to do.
Your asked to do it, make the change, Go. Genesis 12:1-GWT
Not forced, asked.  By a kind and loving God.
One who is looking out for you.
You hope and pray that you'll make it through, that you'll be o.k. that you'll come out on the other side.
When you do go, and you will come out the other side.  You will look back, you can take a deep breath, sigh and say. 
"That was hard, but worth it." and I've been asked,
"Would I do it again?"  "Yes, indeed."
When God asks you to come, when you see Him reaching His hands out to you.  You hear His soft still voice say, "Come and leave the rest behind." Go! and Don't look back; But Lot's wife, behind him, looked back,... Genesis 19:26-ESV 
Go! It's worth it!  Let your life change forever. 
I've been where you've been, I'm still there. I get the looks, the shunning, the rejection, the lies told, the lies spread.  But what's different now, I have Christ.  And because of Him, I have the faith, the strength, the love, the ability to forgive through Christ himself, and the power to endure the arrow of rejection, the bullet of shunning,
and the sting of lies.

Psalm 31:6-24 MSG
6-13 I hate all this silly religion, but you, God, I trust.
   I'm leaping and singing in the circle of your love; you saw my pain, you disarmed my tormentors,
   You didn't leave me in their clutches but gave me room to breathe.
   Be kind to me, God—
      I'm in deep, deep trouble again.
   I've cried my eyes out; I feel hollow inside. My life leaks away, groan by groan; my years fade out in sighs. My troubles have worn me out, turned my bones to powder.
   To my enemies I'm a monster; I'm ridiculed by the neighbors. My friends are horrified; they cross the street to avoid me. They want to blot me from memory, forget me like a corpse in a grave, discard me like a broken dish in the trash.
   The street-talk gossip has me "criminally insane"! Behind locked doors they plot how to ruin me for good.
 14-18 Desperate, I throw myself on you:you are my God!
   Hour by hour I place my days in your hand, safe from the hands out to get me.
   Warm me, your servant, with a smile; save me because you love me.
   Don't embarrass me by not showing up; I've given you plenty of notice.
   Embarrass the wicked, stand them up, leave them stupidly shaking their heads as they drift down to hell.
   Gag those loudmouthed liars who heckle me, your follower, with jeers and catcalls.

 19-22 What a stack of blessing you have piled up for those who worship you, Ready and waiting for all who run to you to escape an unkind world.
   You hide them safely away from the opposition. As you slam the door on those oily, mocking faces,
      you silence the poisonous gossip.
   Blessed God!
      His love is the wonder of the world. Trapped by a siege, I panicked.
      "Out of sight, out of mind," I said.  But you heard me say it, you heard and listened.
 23 Love God, all you saints; God takes care of all who stay close to him,
   But he pays back in full those arrogant enough to go it alone.
 24 Be brave. Be strong. Don't give up. Expect God to get here soon.

Yes to Voting

"Will putting other men in office solve the problem?"
Is it not true that where there are free elections the men in power are usually voted out of office in a relatively few years?  Why?  A majority are not satisfied with their performance. (Reasoning from the scriptures copyright1985-Watchtower and Bible Tract Society)
Now I have to be honest, I am not one who readily keeps up on current political men and women in office.
However when voting time comes around, I do need to jump on the computer see who stands for what, were their values lie, pay attention to what those around me are saying. Ultimately I need to be seeking God's direction.
So in all the confusion that may come from TV ads, news reports, etc. all the wondering who to vote for.
Their should, no there will be a peace that comes over me, when I mark that ballot.
The peace of God that transcends all understanding. Philippians 4:7

If the individual,  I freely get to vote for, does not perhaps stand up to the values they portrayed, during their campaigning time.
I then again need to continue to direct my concerns (prayers) to the Lord.
He ultimately is in control, he can stop anything, and make anything go forward at any given time.
God is omnipresent and is with me, where ever I am, even at the voting booth.
Jeremiah 23:24 Can anyone hide from me in a secret place? Am I not everywhere in all the heavens and earth?" says the LORD. 
Psalm 139:7-10 I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me.
English Standard Version (©2001)
Mayor Jim Schmitt in Green Bay has been elected for yet a 3rd term.
Why? Because the people freely voted.
To me I don't look at is as " I like him or her or I don't like him or her."
For me I look at the principles, value, morals, ethics,
and most of all I need to look at what it is I stand on,
concerning my faith and biblical values, set forth by God.
I have the free will to elect him or her again.

The United States has laws and some of our laws vary from state to state.
Some rules get passed and some don't.  New ones come up, and some alter over the years.  Our presidents of the United States. They are only allowed to run and be elected for 2 terms in a row.  Which is 4 years each term. So that is one reason why, we don't see individuals stay in office.

I am very thankful for those that are in office that stand for the sanctity of life.
I have 5 children that would tell you what about me? ...

Those in office yes there time is limited, and no they won't solve all the problems of the world. But there are some in office that do, or have made some things better for us.
There is One that can and will.
There is One that has rules that don't change nor will they ever change.
There is One that stands by His word.
There is One that is Faithful and Just.
There is One that is Righteous.
There is One that is Loyal.
There is One who will do what He says He will do.
There is One that offers a new hope a new living hope. 1 Peter 1:3

Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. Romans 13:2

Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience. Romans 13:5

As a matter of conscience-I will vote!

Vote-Yes, No, or Maybe?

"How can people get lasting relief from governmental corruption and oppression?"
"Will putting other men in office solve the problem?"
"Is it not true that where there are free elections the men in power are usually voted out of office in a relatively few years? Why? A majority are not satisfied with their performance."
"Government by God is the only real solution to the problems of mankind."
"The problems that need to be resolved require power, abilities, and qualities that no humans possess."
Statements above from: (Reasoning from the Scriptures Copyright 1985 Pg 153 topic: Government)

Today is an election day, and I was reminded of that from a dear friend.
The first time I voted was when I was 30.
If you were raised anything like me,
Your parents didn't vote any family or friends in your circle didn't vote.
Voting meant you were submitting yourself to this world,
and it's leaders, and not to God. You were worshiping them.
Making them an idol a god.
That all earthly leaders are followers of Satan.
Each wanting their own say in this world. Each wanting things done their way and not God's way.

You were quoted 1 John 5:19 from the New World Translation.
"No matter who the ruler is, he will still be part of this world that lies in Satan's power."
Thus we want no part of this world and we will not participate in anything involving government. Jehovah does not want us his chosen people, to conform to the ways of the government.

In my studying, and readings this is what God showed me in 1 John.
1 John 5:14,18b,-20 NIV
14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God:
that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.
18bthe One who was born of God keeps them safe,
and the evil one cannot harm them.
19 We know that we are children of God,
and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.
20 We know also that the Son of God has come
and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true...
Romans 13:1-2, 7b
 1 Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities,
for there is no authority except that which God has established.  
The authorities that exist have been established by God.
2 Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority
is rebelling against what God has instituted. 
7b... if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

I as a believer in Christ Jesus will respect and honor our governing authorities.
I will pray for them and ask God's direction on who I should vote for.
"The problems that need to be resolved require power, abilities, and qualities that no humans possess."
Romans 8:11 (NLT)
The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you.
Ephesians 1:19,20 (GWT)
You will also know the unlimited greatness of his power
as it works with might and strength for us, the believers.
He worked with that same power in Christ
when he brought him back to life
and gave him the highest position in heaven.

Resurrection Power! It is available to us, that same power!
Boy that blows my mind, but I believe it!
(How? You might wonder?  I'd love to share with you how.)
(Leave a comment and I will get in touch with you.)

I am that human here on earth living, walking, breathing, and wanting to have, and fulfill the abundant life that God has for me.
I have the power required! I have the ability!
I have the qualities! So graciously given to me by Christ Jesus!
So even though Satan has his time right now and he "thinks" he's ruling.
There is no comparison to The Ruling , The Authority, The Power, that God has, and is in control of, and that He can exert His Power at any given time He wants to!
So... Vote
-Maybe- out of the question
-No- Not an option

He Knew

After another morning of hustle and bustle, kids off to school and some still asleep, I decided to crawl back in bed.
My firstborn born son slept with me last night.  As I cuddled up to him so many thoughts came rushing through my mind.
As fast as the thoughts rushed in, the emotions rushed into my heart, and the tears of sadness and joy began to fall from my face. 
My Father in heaven, He knew I'd have this moment. 
My mind began to think and marvel as I thought about Mary and Jesus.
I'm not sure what Jesus laid on when it was time for bed.  Was his bed separate from where his earthly mom and dad slept or did he cuddle in with mom and dad?
Did Mary sometimes move from their separate places to cuddle up to Jesus in the wee hours of the morning?
Jesus knew before He came how many times His mom would cuddle Him.
He knew He would exchange his streets of gold to sleep each night on the cold rugged ground.
He knew there would be moments when His Mom would hold Him and scold Him.
Jesus stayed back in Jerusalem while His parents were heading back home.
He knew it would be a few days, a day for them to realize He was missing and they would have to travel back to find him.  
Joesph taught Jesus the trade of carpentry. When Jesus used the nails to complete the projects with his father Joseph.
He knew. And continued on.
He knew he'd be rejected, mocked, and spit on. 
He knew he'd be flogged, to the point of no recognition.
He knew he'd be tempted.
He knew in the flesh He would be weak.
He knew He would need the strength from His Father in heaven.
My Father, your Father the Creator of heaven and earth.
He knew.
He knew He was coming for me and for you. He wanted to be a comfort to us, and dwell with us, and give us rest.
He knew I couldn't do it on my own, and how weak the flesh is.
He knew so He came.
He knows not all will come to Him. 
He knows everything there is nothing I can hide from him.
There is no where I can go, where He does not exist.
No mountain, no deep sea that I can go that He can’t find me. 
He knew and He didn't change His mind, He didn't turn back.

He knew.