Eighteen years ago today.

I wondered why the passing of my dad hit me differently this year than any other.
I'm still not completely sure as I hit the keyboard this evening.


I have hope and can say I have never lost it.
I remember walking through my parents kitchen like it was yesterday.  
I was looking and listening to my mom 
as she sat at the kitchen table 
reading the sympathy cards and mocking at the handwriting of one of my dads co-workers.

The man wrote; "We know Sonny believed in the after-life."

"That's ridiculous!" Mom yelled.
"How would he know, 
he knew nothing of what your Dad believed, 
how dare he say that!"

"He knew nothing of what your Dad believed."

What did Dad believe?
I didn't know.
Mom didn't know.
"We know."
God knows.


"We know."
There are ones that knew what Dad believed.


I know this about my dad he loved me unconditionally.
I see it in his eyes.
I have this picture to remind me of it everyday.

In this picture there is the obvious 
you see my Dad holding my baby girl.

My baby girl
the situation that caused my disfellowshipping 
from the Jehovah's Witness Organization.
The situation that still causes the shunning in my life today.

What I see in this picture...
I see my baby girl looking at her Grandpa
knowing she is loved and admired.
I see my baby girl looking at her Grandpa 
knowing she is accepted and has is approval.
I see my baby girl looking at her Grandpa saying;
"I'm glad your holding me, I'm proud of you Grandpa 
just as much as you are proud of me."

And as my Dad stands there taking this photo
I see him looking at me saying; 
"Baby girl I love you and admire you."
"Baby girl I accept you and you have my approval."
"Baby girl I'm proud of you."


It is great to know and believe that your Father feels this way about his daughter.
It's even greater to know your Heavenly Father feels this way too.


In memory of my dad who passed away eighteen years ago today.
I say this; 
I love you dad and I have hope that I will see you one day 
"Sonny believed in the after-life."
Eternal life after this life here on earth in heaven with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

"There is no sting in death for those who believe in Him."

1 Corinthians 15:55-57
1 John 2:25