Grace and Mercy

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. 
 There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
 Hebrews 4:16 NLT

As I sit and allow myself to consider
 Two Basics, Two Truths, Two Realities;
 the meat and potatoes, the black and white, the whip cream and cherry on top
 of my Christian life, Grace and Mercy,
  I find myself having the great and often tendency
 to over analyze, complicate, over compensate, then completely over look and miss
 the simplicity of the
 of Grace and Mercy.

The first definition of mercy I ever learned was: 
God's undeserved kindness. Age 12
The first definition of grace I ever learned was:
 Unmerited favor.  God's unmerited favor-Age 30

My interpretation that I carried through life was
 I didn't deserve kindness from God. It was undeserved.
 I would not receive kindness unless I did this, said that, or looked and acted that way.
  The way she did, the way that family did it. 
 Everything had merit and held merit. Favor, I knew how to become a favorite, and liked.
So with mercy thrown out the window, why even look at grace.

I have read, and have re-read the definition of grace
I have flipped it over like a pancake.
 I have laced it up, and tied it like my favorite tennis shoe
 and untied it and re laced it, to get a better grip on it.
  It is at those times when I just can't get it, let alone give it, is when I have come face to face with the fact
 I have not received it.
See I can't give something
 If I don't receive the gift, accept it.

I don't know how a purposeful God, a loving God, would want to give me something as grand as grace simply for the fact of "just because."
 He wants to be generous and helpful to me in my state of sin.
  In my state of hopelessness. 
 He wants to protect me with His divine love and power,
 Freely, Often, ALWAYS!
 Given to me daily, if I choose to accept it. 
 There was a very high price paid for me to have it, to
 "GET IT!"
 Would I give my first born, only born Son for you?
 I'm sorry to say that I couldn't. 
 I don't even want to extend any amount of grace 
when you've upset me, made me angry, or offended me. 
 You hurt me. So why, why would I give you grace?
Can't you see I'm a sinner through and through, and I have to return to these basics, daily.
  And when I am not able to give you grace,
 I know that is when I have to put it all into perspective,
 and drop to my knees.
 Christ did it for me.
 I need to receive Him again.
 Surrender, be stripped, and bare and receive His grace yet one more time.
 I simply can not give unless I receive.

And then to give that grace in a merciful way.
  Mercy that's the sprinkles on the whipped cream with the cherry on top.

Mercy that's me being compassionate towards you in your sitiuation in your time of need.
  See because your time of need is going to come at a different time then mine,
and I need to be there for you in a way that you need at that time.
 That's what Christ does for me.
 He's willing and waiting and able and capable and compassionate.


So run fearlessly and un abandoned
 to His strong and mighty throne 
of power and grace 
so that He may help you in your time of need.
  For me my need is daily. Every second, every minute of every hour.

I love only because He loved me first. 1 John 4:19

Know that YOU are in my thoughts and my prayers today, and that I love YOU!

Psalm 31

For all the rumors ever spoken...
For all the friends we have lost...
For all the family that has shunned us...
The Lord has heard our cries.
You are not alone.
Put your hope in Him.

Have mercy on me, LORD, for I am in distress.
Tears blur my eyes.  My body and soul are withering away.

I am dying from grief, my years are shortened by sadness.
Sin has drained my strength;
I am wasting away from within.

I am scorned by all my enemies and despised by my neighbors-
even my friends are afraid to come near me.
When they see me on the street, they run the other way.

I am ignored as if I were dead, as if I were a broken pot.

I have heard the many rumors about me, and I am surrounded by terror.
My enemies conspire against me, plotting to take my life.

But I am trusting you, O LORD, saying, "You are my God!"

My future is in your hands.  Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.

Let your favor shine on your servant.  In your unfailing love, rescue me.

Don't let me be disgraced, O LORD, for I call out to you for help.
Let the wicked be disgraced; let them lie silent in the grave.

Silence their lying lips-those proud and arrogant lips that accuse the godly.

How great is the goodness you have stored up for those who fear you.
You lavish it on those who come to you for protection, blessing them
before the watching world.

You hide them in the shelter of your presence, safe from those who conspire
against them.
You shelter them in your presence, far from accusing tongues.

Praise the LORD, for he has shown me the wonders of his unfailing love.
He kept me safe when my city was under attack.

In panic I cried out, "I am cut off from the LORD!"
But you heard my cry of mercy and answered my call for help.
Love the LORD, all you godly ones!  For the LORD protects those
who are loyal to him, but he harshly punishes the arrogant.

So be strong and courageous, all who put your hope in the LORD!

Psalm 31:9-24 New Living Translation

Vicariously Through or Living for the First Time

Vicarious- /vīˈkerēəs/
Adjective: Experienced in the imagination through the feelings or actions of another person.
My sons 5th birthday party, celebrated with friends from school!
My daughters 1st sleep over with a friend from school!
My daughters Homecoming, her Junior Prom!
My daughters 2nd school dance!
My son playing and interacting with children at the "Y" and not with just church kids!
My sons and daughters going to church and not the Kingdom Hall!
How do I live these things?
Vicariously through them?
Living for the first time!
Am I imagining what it would of been like? or
Am I living the experience and taking it all in. 
Living in the moment, in the present time loving, cherishing, every moment.
Am I angry?  Am I hurt?  Am I disappointed?
Am I regretting?  Am I sad?
Am I living? Am I enjoying? Am I forgiving?
Am I happy?  Am I hopeful?
If I'm stuck and living in regret and disappointment, then I'm living in the past.
I can't even see what's ahead, let alone move.
Move forward?
I simply can't move forward, looking back.
Be in the moment. Live the moment. 
Experience the moment for the 1st time.
Smile, shed tears, feel the goosebumps.
Go ahead.
Feel the feelings.
No need to imagine! Live it! Live it to the fullest!
You have given your child a great gift. 
By you standing up and choosing different for them.
They don't have to imagine what life is like being different.
They get to enjoy the icing on the birthday cake.
They get to live the moments.

You have been given a great gift.
 By you standing up and choosing different for yourself.
You can have the power to forgive through Christ.
You get to enjoy the freedom that life has to offer through Christ.
You chose wisely, Precious One!
Start Living for the First Time! live is Christ...-Philippians 1:21