How many times I cried and prayed someone would love me just for me.
How many times I wondered why?
How many times I asked you God,
why my mom, of all people?
Doesn't a mom love unconditionally?
I wanted her approval, her acceptance.
She broke me, she hurt me, but yet I was afraid to go.

This life has been hard.
This road has been so long.
After all I've been through, How?
I don't know how, what's the 1st step?
I look back on this road I've traveled and I know that I don't want to do it again.
But I miss my family!
Relationships why are they so difficult?
I'll take any relationship, at this point.
I just want to love some one, and some one to love me for me.
I don't want to perform or do for anyone anymore.
I want love, but do I even know what it truly is, what it truly means?
An example of love. I've seen it in part, but when all rejection and shame came, I questioned it, and have continued to my entire life.  I don't ever remember a job well done.
No one has really ever shown me what love is, so how will I know how to love.
Love is patient. Love is kind.
Really, though is it?
Yes 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
What's ahead of me?
This long.
This hard.

All my bitterness, my tears, my pride, my vain ambitions, all the rage, the hurt, the regret, the loneliness, the shame, the pain, my sin-all of it, all the times I thought something was owed to me because of my past, all my narcissism.
That's what I came with, that's what I gave to Him.
And to know...
He gave me His life.  He died for me.

After all that I've been through now
i realize THE TRUTH.

I could never had made it without you.
You've always been there for me, even when I didn't know.
I didn't know I was lost until I was found.
You found me.
You sought me time and time again.
When I think of where I've come from
and the things I've left behind
nothing compares to what's in front of me.

I say to you reading this-you the former Jehovah Witness or
the one just beginning to search...
I know you have suffered all your life.
I know your own flesh and blood as turned you away,.
I know lifetime friends have turned their backs on you.
The pain, the hurt, the despair, the rejection.
I know for some of you it's a fresh wound, for some of you it starts to close
and someone or something opens it again.

You need some healing, you need a healer.
One who will comfort you if you let Him,
and He will make you whole again.
Your world has been closed off and cold.
You have been wandering...
You've been wondering...
You've been searching...
You've been questioning...
You've been doubting...

I know someone has hurt you who was it?
Who has affected you?
Who was it that told you, you wouldn't amount to anything, or ever succeed?
Who or what still has control over your life?
What stops you in going in a new direction?
Please don't let it be fear.
I myself was stuck there for so long, Believe me there is freedom on the other side.
Are you fully happy with the choices you've chosen in your life since then?

You are more than your mistakes, you are more than the ones you've wronged, or the ones who have wronged you,  you are more than your sins.
Your life was meant for more!
Everyone needs love and compassion and you know you want it too.
COME receive it!
He will take you, just as you are.  (He took me)
You don't need to prepare, you don't need to fix.
You don't need to get better. You don't have to be or do better.
COME as you are.  Give it all to Him.  He wants it.
What do you got to lose!
We have eternity to lose out on, and I don't want that for you.

You need a Savior.  His name is Jesus.

You need a love that won't fail you.
You are made for so much more than all of this, He loves you, He treasures you!
He will give you the love that you need, Unconditional love a love that is beyond your understanding.
A love you can't measure, a love that won't fail you!

This new journey, it will be like learning to walk all over again.
But you'll be o.k.
He will help you, he will lead you.
He will never let you go!

John 3:16,17 New Living Translation (my emphasis added)

For God so loved the world you (you are apart of this world) that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.
God did not send his Son into the world to condemn it,  but to save it.

Romans 10:9,10 New Living Translation

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.

Pray this prayer with me:
"Lord, Jesus I believe you are the Son of God.
Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins.
I have sinned and I am sorry, please forgive me.
Today I do confess that you Jesus are my Lord and Savior.
I believe that you you were born of the virgin Mary ant that you died for all and rose from the dead.
And I receive the gift of eternal life, that only you can offer.
Today I ask you to come in to my heart and life.
I give you complete control of my life, and I want to live my life for you
from this day forward and always.
In Jesus name I pray, Amen!"

If you prayed this prayer, I would love for you to share that with me, or someone else you may know that has given their life to Jesus, so that they may come join you in your walk with the Lord, Jesus.
If  it's o.k. by you I would love to get in contact with you.
Please leave your information!
(This blog is inspired by Third Day Mountain of God check the song out on You Tube)

Genesis 50:20

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