There was a time in my life
that I was fully convinced I had all the answers.
Of course by all means
it wasn't a pride thing, I just knew
and you didn't.
I knew how to
and train you
on how to become one of God's chosen ones.
I had it ALL figured out!
a working to get your way in.
through process of elimination.
By way of not questioning the answers given to me by man.
I knew that when you stumped me on a question
that I didn't have the answer,
I wrote you off as
A lost cause.
"We'll see who wins in the end."
What arrogance I once had.
What righteousness. Self righteousness.
Reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity.
I have always earned for greater knowledge.
I have always wanted an answer for everything.
Life was logical.
Relationships were logical.
God was logical.
Oh but God...
I like Nicodemus tried ever so hard to come to know Christ through logic, through human reasoning, through past beliefs, through process of elimination.
"Rabbi, we know that You have come from God as a teacher; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him." John 3:2-ESV English Standard Version
Coming to God based off of what I know to be "truth."
Coming to God in my way,
when I have everything sorted out.
Coming to God when I have all my knowledge put together.
All my ducks in a row.
I had a lifetime of old beliefs "logic"keeping me stuck and stagnant.
Hence, why I sat in limbo for 13 years!
I kept trying to understand through my mind
and my will.
Coming face to face with the question
"Do I believe Jesus was God?" "Do I believe Jesus is God?"
As I searched and read through scripture, that's all that would ever come up.
Everywhere I turned it was that one daunting question.
When I was all out of logic and ready to lose my mind
it was then that I slid my mind aside
and slide my heart in place
and by faith not fully understanding believed.
Jesus as God!
When logic comes in...
I tell myself
Not by a system, not by works, BUT BY FAITH!
God saved you (me) by his grace when you (I) believed. And you (I) can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we (I) have done, so none of us (I) can boast about it. Ephesians 2:8-9 NLT (me, and I-my additions)