SHE DOES NOT KNOW

"Although many people can contribute
 to the process of creating a significant purpose;
it is a child's parents that carry the greatest
potential for influence.
Dr. Tim Kimmel- Grace Based Parenting

As I sit yet again through the 10 week study of 
Grace Based Parenting.
(Yes my second time! I desperately need it!)
My thoughts turn toward not my parenting this time;
but toward the way my parents were with me
growing up.

Reflecting. Processing. Wondering.

"It is a child's parents that carry 
the greatest potential for influence."

I believe this statement.

Sure I could go down the laundry list of bads
 and not so goods.

However this time in my thinking, I reflect on the good.

First and foremost you must understand my mom.
Her thoughts
Her eyes
Her love
Her ears
are all veiled.

She does not know.

So as she sits in her winged back chair
and studies 
and underlines
and reads
and prays.

She does not know.

She does not know
 the severity of the loss.

She does only what she is told.

She does not know
What a Savior is
or 
Who the Savior is.

She did the best she could, with what she has been told,
and sadly
with what she has forever believed in
the Jehovah Witness Organization.


She has studied over pages of magazines and books
for 45 + years now.

One thing she influenced me in
was reading the bible.
Even though what she is reading is false.

The principle of
The impact of
reading her bible daily
has been the biggest influence in my life.

So even today as this long journey continues and we are separated.
I can stand and give honor to my mom 
for the influence
that came from her.

And this also
She does not know.

So take the bad and let God make it for good.
Genesis 50:20

Honor your father and mother.
Ephesians 6:2


The Meaning of a Pink Rose:
Appreciation. "Thank you", Grace, Admiration

Thank you Mom.




Believe


When I was asked to share with a group of girls,
"What does it look like to forgive yourself?"
The first word that came to mind 
was
BELIEVE.

I knew that in my life journey of forgiving
myself and others
I knew I needed to believe something 
different than what I was currently 
BELIEVING.

When you've spent the greater part of your years
in a valley or you've descended
down into a pit
you become conditioned to 
learn
know
and believe 
that place.
We take residence up in it and call it home.

You decorate it just so
 to distract you 
from the pain
from the hurt.

You take it on 
as truth
as life
or like I've said many times
"This is the life I've been given, my lot in life, so live with it
make the most of it."

But then I heard a whisper.
A voice I didn't know, but wanted to.
A voice I longed to hear, now present.
It told me "I was believing a lie."
It told me "I was believing what others said about me."
It told me "It wasn't my fault."
It told me "This is NOT my lot in life."
It told me "To believe something new, something true."
It told me that I needed
 "to take my thoughts captive and bring them to this voice."

Who are you?

This whisper, this voice
was strong but gentle
was deep but heavenly.
He told me I needed
"To demolish all this chaos in my mind."
He told me I needed
"To not worry about anything, instead pray to Me about everything."
He told me
"Let Me transform you into a new person by changing the way you think."
He told me
"Think about things that are wonderful, true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, and admirable.
Because this is what I think of you Melissa."
He told me
"Trust me from the bottom of your heart, don't try to figure out everything on your own.  
Listen for My voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; I'm the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.  Run to God, Me, your Father in heaven!
 Run from Evil!

Dear Child of Mine
I want you to say these very words

I am

Breaking
Every
Lie
Intentionally
Evoked
Violently on
Me.

BELIEVE

You are my child and I never meant any harm to come upon you.
What the enemy meant for evil, I will make for good.


"There comes a time to drive a stake in the ground
 and lay claim to 
one life 
one focused goal
 and 
one God."

 Choose to 
BELIEVE
Him!"





2 Corinthians 10:5-NIV
Philippians 4:6-NLT
Romans 12:2-NLT
Philippians 4:8-NLT
Proverbs 3:5-7-The Message Bible
"Beth Moore Quote"

NIV-New International Version
NLT-New Living Translation